so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
a search helicopter?!
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
