Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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