he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she told me i tasted like america
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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