I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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