I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It's no shave November. This is our time.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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