I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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