my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
