ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize