remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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