Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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