Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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