I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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