How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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