i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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