I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
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I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
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I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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