he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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