What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
love makes seman taste better
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize