Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
