I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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