i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
