READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
