I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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