i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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