i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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