Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
