Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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