So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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