Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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