As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
