i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
