if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
