There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
