4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
