shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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