I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
