i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I see more hoeing in ur future
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