My brain says no but my pants say off.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Randomize