I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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