U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
