well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
