I feel like abortions should bother me more
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
