Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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