i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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