I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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