things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
