he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize