We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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