What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
