All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
