This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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