i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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