I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
