i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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