Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
