u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
