I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
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If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize