No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
