I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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