He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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